Beyonce Kicks Papa Knowles to the Curb

'

After two decades of pushing his daughter into the spotlight, Michael Knowles has ended his professional relationship with Beyoncé Knowles.  But of course, she claims it was on amicable terms. “I grew up watching both he and my mother manage and own their own businesses. They were hardworking entrepreneurs and I will continue to follow in their footsteps,” said Beyoncé.

She’s eager to follow in his footsteps? Hmm…we all love Beyonce, but we’re not so sure it was such a clean break. You know what we are sure of? Lindsay and her treasure of a dad, Michael Lohan.

–Diana M. Cholankeril

Epic Meal Time Changes the Game

If you thought the Grease Trucks’ Fat Sandwiches were the most heart attack-inducing foods ever conceived, you’re wrong. Epic Meal Time is a cooking series on YouTube that has surged to popularity over the past few months.  Every Tuesday, the crew creates and eats a new culinary monstrosity that makes Adam Richman from Man vs. Food look like a complete wimp.
The series follows a simple, yet perpetually amusing formula: take several dead animals, wrap them in unhealthy amounts of bacon, marinate in Jack Daniels, and then deep fry for good measure. The result is a meat lover's dream that consists of more calories and fat than most people should consume in an entire week. The utter disregard of moderation has earned Epic Meal Time millions of views as well as an appearance on The Tonight Show. Furthermore, networks such as Comedy Central and Spike have expressed interest in turning the online series into a full-fledged T.V. show. Whatever the future holds, we hope that Epic Meal Time continues to entertain us with hilarious depictions of excess and gluttony in an age of health consciousness.


TurBacon Epic Thanksgiving-Epic Mealtime

Epic Meal Time on The Tonight Show

—Ryan Surujnath

Bieber Booty Bleeds Banks

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/42214901/ns/today-entertainment/

It almost seems uninteresting that Justin Bieber uses such an expensive hairdryer, when compared with the fact that mentally unstable individuals are willing—eager— to purchase his hair for over $40,000. Now we understand being a huge fan, but come on, this is ludicrous. It is not unusual to dole out a hefty sum for say, Jimmy Page’s guitar, or Paul McCartney’s bass, but for hair!? This is just pathetic. How are you supposed to show it off to your friends? “Hey, check out this Justin Bieber memorabilia I bought for over 40 thousand dollars…LOCKS OF HIS HAIR!” This takes celebrity worship to an entirely new and frightening level.

—Alex Natanzon

In Defense of Rebecca Black: A Victim of the Age of Auto-Tune

    

            It’s been about a week, and by now, most are aware of the ear-wrenching song, “Friday” by tween Rebecca Black.  Its redundant and lame lyrics, auto-tune overkill, and infomercial-level acting in the music video render it unworthy of any merit whatsoever. Despite the overwhelmingly negative public reaction, Ms. Black told Good Morning America that it’s “an accomplishment” and the whole point of the song is to be “catchy”.

The public loves to hate Rebecca Black, but maybe she is just a victim of the pop music industry, which almost exclusively pumps out formulaic, catchy songs with meaningless lyrics. The gap between Rebecca Black and the current hit song on the radio is closing fast, especially since Ms. Black has beaten her idol, Justin Bieber, on the iTunes top 100 list and received over 29 million hits on her music video. This ‘Age of Auto-tune and Lip-Syncing’ is churning out a generation of make-it-big pop stars, in which most are neither the “worst singer[s]” nor the “best singer[s]”. Antoine Dodson, the preceding Youtube sensation, profited heavily from his fifteen-second stardom when skilled auto-tuners composed a song out of his idiotic comments. Before hating on Ms. Black, consider this: perhaps Rebecca Black is simply the latest to have been sucked into the pop industry’s treacherous siren song – an innocent youth who really enjoyed Friday and wanted to share her enthusiasm with the world (albeit rather badly). Let's just pass her by and look for someone who can actually sing.

Update: Horror upon horrors! Black has announced that she is releasing A WHOLE ALBUM in December 2012! Run for the hills! The apocalypse is upon us!

—Ashley Park

American Apparel's Dov Charney is Accused of Being a Major Creeper...Again

 Plaintiff Irene Morales. Courtesy of NY Daily News.

Two weeks ago we published a cover story on American Apparel's pending bankruptcy and CEO Dov Charney's sexual assault lawsuits. Well, it seems that he's adding another to the list. Irene Morales, 20, is filing a $260 million suit against Charney. According to the law suit documents, Charney invited her over to his Manhattan apartment, greeted her in nothing but briefs, and “forced her to go down on her knees just inside the front door and perform fellatio upon him.” Then Charney reportedly forced Morales to perform the same act on the bed, “nearly suffocating her in the process.” He allegedly kept her captive in the apartment for several hours afterward, repeatedly making her perform these acts. Morales' lawyer claims that this has been going on for eight months before Morales resigned.

In the past, all of the lawsuits against Charney were settled and have never reached trial. Although this seems to be the most explosive one of them all, it is doubtful whether this one will reach the courtrooms either. American Apparel said in court papers Wednesday that Morales' complaint "is an improper attempt to garner media attention and exert pressure." Charney's lawyer, Stuart Slotnick, said Morales "made a number of extortion-like threats to expose the company to a threatened avalanche of litigation and negative publicity." Two documents were submitted to the court, supposedly signed by Morales agreeing not to sue the company. The hearing, deciding whether the case will reach the courts or be directed through arbitration processes, will be held on March 25. As if the company's $120 million debt weren't enough for Charney to handle, the additional threat of another $260 million makes the future of this company look even bleaker.

—Stacy Douek

Born this Way: The Story of Mother Monster

       
       
           Oh Lady Gaga….what will you come up with next? Lady Gaga released the video for her new song “Born This Way” and it was, to say the least, bizarre. The seven-minute-long video is filled with the usual things we expect from Lady Gaga—skin-baring sexuality and crazy get-ups—with some new things added to the madness, like unicorns and childbirth (which would explain why she showed up to this year’s Grammys in an egg a few weeks back). The song’s been getting a lot of love at the top of most charts, but it’s definitely not one of Gaga’s strongest songs. Like some critics are saying, it sounds like a recycled Madonna song and Gaga is too much of an original to be putting out recycled songs. Since this is just the first track of her new album, we’ll let this one slide, but hopefully the album will have stronger material than this.

–Inayah Bristol

We’re On a Drug: It’s Called Charlie Sheen

Tabloid regular and actor Charlie Sheen is known for his bad-boy image and questionable media appearances. This week, Sheen offered more of the same in a bizarre interview with ABC. Amongst the bevy of promotional sound bites, one stood out, “I am on a drug: it’s called Charlie Sheen.” Charlie, we’re on the same drug. It’s hard not to stop and stare at his alleged ménage à trois with a porn star and a graphic designer/nanny, feuds with CBS, and his participation in long-standing child custody hearings. While we hope that Sheen sorts out his personal demons, he nevertheless is a nonstop, hot mess of a circus act for TV viewers.

— Zoë Szathmary